My sister and her friend are in town visiting California from the hellish, muggy, Scandinavian wasteland that is our home state of Minnesota. We’ve been spending time showing them around, which has so far mainly consisted of getting Mexican food and taking them to Target’s cereal aisle and exclaiming about “how much Apple Jacks cost over here.” What I haven’t had a ton of time to do is write this week’s Microjam. But don’t worry! I have a few pieces lying around for just such an occasion, so this week, I’ll be posting an unreleased track.


Last holiday season, I ran a special here on the site where people could order a custom made theme song for either themselves, or for someone else as a gift (an offer I hope to repeat this year). Customers could choose how many instruments they wanted to be used, the length of the piece, and then give me a basic description of what they were looking for (genre, style, atmosphere, do they want me to emulate the style of another artist, stuff like that).

A friend of mine requested a piece for her boyfriend, who is from Canada. In the description field, all she wrote was “Canadian Techno.”

To any Canadians who might be reading right now; I apologize. I love your country. I’ve been there, it’s gorgeous. But I’m afraid everything I know about your culture extends to Ellen Page and drinking milk out of plastic bags.

And I seriously thought your jaws could detach until like two weeks ago.

I started out the piece with the Canadian National Anthem, which I then chopped up and gated until it became closer to a techno beat, which is either awesome, or stupid or extremely disrespectful depending on how you look at it. In the middle section of the piece, I recorded words that Canadians stereotypically¬† say funny, such as “aboot” and “eh”, edited them, threw some filters on them, and made them part of the beat as well. In the last section of the song, I went with a lot more of a trance feel, and there is even a quote from the Crash Test Dummies song “Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm” in the main melody line if you know what you’re looking for.

The client told me she loved it, and I was pretty happy with it overall, but I never actually found out how her boyfriend felt about it. Hopefully he’s not on his way over here right now to bash my temple in with a jar of rich, %100 pure maple syrup.

A couple notes about this one: it’s currently in the Microjam section because its being subbed for my usual weekly music post, but I will most likely move this to a more suitable location later. I’ll update when I do.

Also, many of the pieces I’ve done on this feature have a loop, and eventually fade out, but this one has a definite ending, so if you like what you hear, stick around!

You can check it out below. Hope you like it!

Canadian Techno