God do I hate driving in California sometimes. People ride your bumper unless you go 30 over the speed limit. Nobody signals. And terrible dark monsters from a once sealed hell-dimension called Malgoraks roam the streets, devouring any foolish enough to try to merge onto Lawrence Expressway around 5:00.
I really envy the guys on motorcycles; they just zip between all the regular cars, riding right on the lines. How cool is that? Every time they blow by me and after I’m done picking the shattered pieces of my side mirror out of my forehead I think “I could do that! I could be a ‘bike guy!'” Then I watched the first episode of Sons of Anarchy and thought “nope.” But I could ride this:
Anyone who plays video games probably knows what this is, but let it not be said that I was not a composer of the people, so for all you non-gamers out there, this is a Chocobo. Japan made it. For you. It’s basically a baby chicken the size of an ostrich, and in the Final Fantasy games, half of which are set in amazing future utopias with holograms and spaceships, for some reason everyone just rides these around instead. If you saw me coming at you down the 101 on one of these babies, you’d laugh yourself unconscious or freak your geek out, and either way you’d be too busy to cut me off.
So I thought, you know what Japan? You’re not the only one that can take a regular animal and enlarge it and then write a catchy song about riding it around (you can hear the original Chocobo theme here). But since I’m lazy, mine ended up just being a bigger version of my dog.
So to answer your question, yes, a complaint about driving in my state has now turned into a song about riding a 20-foot dachshund mix to work. Happy?
Yet another reminder that Play It Forward is out! It contains a lot of awesome original music by a lot of awesome original people, and it’s pay what you want! Heck, buy it for a dollar, feel good about yourself, and still get an album full of rad tunes. What’s to lose? http://www.playitforwardalbum.bandcamp.com