So you ladies out there know how it is, right? You have a few girlfriends over, watch a little TrueBlood, maybe have a few cocktails, and then eventually somebody will suggest how totally radsauce it would be if there was a Sherlock Holmes style tv show set in Victorian England, except, like, starring dogs. It’ll be great! My dog can be Sherlock because we already own the (canine-sized) hat, and yours can be Watson because she’s missing a bunch of teeth and we can say she lost them in Afghanistan. All we need is the theme music!

And then I walk through the door. And the burden falls to me.

You think a relationship can stay afloat if you don’t occasionally write theme music for your wife’s theoretical animal-based detective shows? Marriage doesn’t function that way! It’s work, dammit!

So here’s…here’s this. Click the thing under this thing and you can hear the thing.

The Adventures of Sherlock Bones and Dr. Squatson

Also, I would totally watch this show.